cantanopeshitthatwastaken:

dankmemesforsadteens:

Idk why I laughed so hard at this

(via friendlyneighborhoodkinkshamer)

(via spongebobssquarepants)

she-weeb:

beastsboy:

Some crazy lady was going to cut your heart out and you wanted more specific instructions? Perhaps you’d want it in writing! Or a diagram, maybe!

11 years of Stardust (August 10th, 2007)

(via professional-multishipper)

mojang-official:

gay steve

(via cicadaemon-moved)

mojang-official:

krikkit:

mojang-official:

I dont have any good ideas for posts right now

gay steve

pretty good, i’ll try it out!

(via cicadaemon-moved)

deadmomjokes:

the-loveliest-lies:

duke-of-derpington:

emperilysm:

schmuddel:

the-armed-utahn:

homocorn:

spending 90$ all at once: bad

spending 30$ three days in a row: somehow not a problem

Realizing after three days that $90 still came out of your account:

How the hell are you people so bad with money

Monkey brain not evolved to deal with numbers larger than 5

Grug not accustomed to fiat paper

Me see things and want them. I just have to give them plastic card. Which they’ll give right back so I don’t rlly lose anything

Anyone else the exact opposite, where you won’t buy anything if you have to use your card, but the minute you have cash the gremlin side of your brain goes “It’s free money. No deduction from account numbers, no spend. Free money.” Cuz that’s also a problem. (Note: does not apply to amounts over $50, those still trigger the “bad” event.)

(via friendlyneighborhoodkinkshamer)

alteredgalaxy:

showerthoughtsofficial:

Maybe only cats can become ghost. That’s why ghosts just knock over stuff and make noises at night.

(Source: reddit.com, via raindancejodi)

avatar-chang:

Me on ellen

Ellen: so I heard you like zuko from avatar the last airbender?

Me: yeah

Ellen: *burns my face and sends me on a three year journey to regain my honor*

Me: omg ellen you didn’t :,)

pornusual:

onnanoko-sekai:

My favorite misunderstanding I’ve had to clear up so far was a Japanese person asking me about the word “fuck”. Because apparently someone had told him if he said “fuck” in America that he might be killed on the spot. Which I think is the funniest lie that I’ve ever heard

damn how brave was he feeling when he asked you that

(via cicadaemon-moved)